YDH (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} adamopoulos) wrote,@ 2007-03-04 18:52:00 |
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The Joel Scharfer Story: Part 1 - Intro / No-Selling
My father is an exceptional person who possess a cult-following consisting of a good portion of my friends. In the twenty-six years of my existence, I have never met anyone remotely resembling his unique personality. My friends affectionately refer to him as 'Big Joel', so we will use that moniker for the duration of this series.
Big Joel just turned sixty last September, but probably looks about fifty. He would probably appear even younger had he not decided to adopt the Santa Claus physique over the course of the last five years. The gray beard isn't helping matters either. For purely selfish reasons, I am grateful that almost all of his hair remains on his head. His hair, combined with my mother's father's full head of hair, gives me quite the satisfying follicle insurance for the later stages of my own life.
This isn't going to be a traditional Big Joel biography. Instead, I am going to focus on what makes my father so funny and why he is so popular among various social groups of choice. Presently, I am unable to ascertain whether his comedy is intentional or not, and I don't think I will ever figure out the answer. We might have an easier chance of finding out if the all of the Griffin's can understand Stewie's dialogue, or if it's only Brian.
Big Joel is a sage in the art of no-selling. Some of you already know what I mean by the term, 'no-sell'. For those who do not, I shall briefly explain. No-selling is a term that originated as an insider's term in professional wrestling. We all know that wrestling is staged and predetermined. If not, now you do, and perhaps we should sit down and talk about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. In wrestling, when wrestler A punches wrestler B, wrestler B acts hurt and sometimes falls down. What wrestler B is doing is 'selling' the move. However, there are exceptions. When Hulk Hogan decided he has had enough, he would begin to Hulk Up. His attacker would continue attempting to hit Hogan, but Hogan would just shake his head and point at his assailant with an intense look on his face. This impervious behavior is referred to as 'no-selling'.
The art of no-selling can be applied to everyday life, and does not require physical contact either. Let's say you're at work, and you are trying to explain something to a co-worker. Without thinking, you use the word 'hard' in your explanation. Your coworker interjects with a “That's what she said!” Here you have reached a decision point. Do you feign laughter or tell him or her to shut up? No, you completely ignore it and continue on with what you were talking about. Congratulations, you have no-sold a lousy, overused joke!
I will now give you an example of how Big Joel can seamlessly integrate the art of no-selling into his everyday life, leaving the victim wondering if it's intentional or not. You see, Joel is one of those people who A) You never know if he's actually listening to you or thinking about something else and B) On the off-chance that he is actually listening, he is very difficult to impress. Usually he will acknowledge a minor accomplishment with a high-pitched “mm-hmm”. Major accomplishments are treated to a “good” and then he changes the topic or stops listening. I know this sounds bad, but in my case he will turn around and say all of these nice things regarding my accomplishment to my grandparents or his friends. I would never know if they didn't come back at tell me about it many months later after said event. Needless to say, I like his crappy, no-selling reactions because they are absolutely hilarious.
“Dad, I just cured cancer!”
“Mm-hmm”
“Dad, I just beat Micheal Jordan in a game of 1-on-1!”
“Good." (Goes back to newspaper)
The purpose of the above entry was to lay the groundwork for the true comedy of this series. In the upcoming entries, I will discuss a variety of topics, including Joel's now world-famous phone etiquette.
My father is an exceptional person who possess a cult-following consisting of a good portion of my friends. In the twenty-six years of my existence, I have never met anyone remotely resembling his unique personality. My friends affectionately refer to him as 'Big Joel', so we will use that moniker for the duration of this series.
Big Joel just turned sixty last September, but probably looks about fifty. He would probably appear even younger had he not decided to adopt the Santa Claus physique over the course of the last five years. The gray beard isn't helping matters either. For purely selfish reasons, I am grateful that almost all of his hair remains on his head. His hair, combined with my mother's father's full head of hair, gives me quite the satisfying follicle insurance for the later stages of my own life.
This isn't going to be a traditional Big Joel biography. Instead, I am going to focus on what makes my father so funny and why he is so popular among various social groups of choice. Presently, I am unable to ascertain whether his comedy is intentional or not, and I don't think I will ever figure out the answer. We might have an easier chance of finding out if the all of the Griffin's can understand Stewie's dialogue, or if it's only Brian.
Big Joel is a sage in the art of no-selling. Some of you already know what I mean by the term, 'no-sell'. For those who do not, I shall briefly explain. No-selling is a term that originated as an insider's term in professional wrestling. We all know that wrestling is staged and predetermined. If not, now you do, and perhaps we should sit down and talk about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. In wrestling, when wrestler A punches wrestler B, wrestler B acts hurt and sometimes falls down. What wrestler B is doing is 'selling' the move. However, there are exceptions. When Hulk Hogan decided he has had enough, he would begin to Hulk Up. His attacker would continue attempting to hit Hogan, but Hogan would just shake his head and point at his assailant with an intense look on his face. This impervious behavior is referred to as 'no-selling'.
The art of no-selling can be applied to everyday life, and does not require physical contact either. Let's say you're at work, and you are trying to explain something to a co-worker. Without thinking, you use the word 'hard' in your explanation. Your coworker interjects with a “That's what she said!” Here you have reached a decision point. Do you feign laughter or tell him or her to shut up? No, you completely ignore it and continue on with what you were talking about. Congratulations, you have no-sold a lousy, overused joke!
I will now give you an example of how Big Joel can seamlessly integrate the art of no-selling into his everyday life, leaving the victim wondering if it's intentional or not. You see, Joel is one of those people who A) You never know if he's actually listening to you or thinking about something else and B) On the off-chance that he is actually listening, he is very difficult to impress. Usually he will acknowledge a minor accomplishment with a high-pitched “mm-hmm”. Major accomplishments are treated to a “good” and then he changes the topic or stops listening. I know this sounds bad, but in my case he will turn around and say all of these nice things regarding my accomplishment to my grandparents or his friends. I would never know if they didn't come back at tell me about it many months later after said event. Needless to say, I like his crappy, no-selling reactions because they are absolutely hilarious.
“Dad, I just cured cancer!”
“Mm-hmm”
“Dad, I just beat Micheal Jordan in a game of 1-on-1!”
“Good." (Goes back to newspaper)
The purpose of the above entry was to lay the groundwork for the true comedy of this series. In the upcoming entries, I will discuss a variety of topics, including Joel's now world-famous phone etiquette.
