YDH (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} adamopoulos) wrote,@ 2006-06-13 21:43:00 |
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Why my company shouldn't put me on travel: Leetown, WV
Ugh.
You know, I've been to my fair share of locations on this planet. Never before have I seen anything like this. I have been in West Virginia for three days now, and what I am about to say is not meant to sound arrogant or superficial.
*I am easily the most attractive person in this state.*
You might be thinking about how I am full of myself, but really, ask yourself, would you celebrate winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Mmm-hmm, exactly.
I kid you not, this is some bad news, folks. Whatever it is that you imagine when you hear "West Virginia" -- it's so fucking true. I haven't seen a single female here that I would touch in anything resembling some form of intimacy unless I have been snowed in. For weeks. I would also require there be no power, no running water, no pornography magazines, and no pencil and paper to draw my own pornography. If those conditions are satisfied and I also get REALLY cold, then maybe...just maybe. At least the lights would be out.
It's that bad.
So earlier this evening, I took a drive down to Charles Town Races and Slots. I figured why waste time being bored when I can waste my time and money being bored. I walk into the casino, play slots for ten minutes, win $250, then leave, now bored again. What am I going to buy here with it anyway? Fat-back?? It's definitely a sad day when taking $250 of the state's money doesn't bring a smile to my face.
Stop inbreeding you fuckers.
-YDH
Ugh.
You know, I've been to my fair share of locations on this planet. Never before have I seen anything like this. I have been in West Virginia for three days now, and what I am about to say is not meant to sound arrogant or superficial.
*I am easily the most attractive person in this state.*
You might be thinking about how I am full of myself, but really, ask yourself, would you celebrate winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Mmm-hmm, exactly.
I kid you not, this is some bad news, folks. Whatever it is that you imagine when you hear "West Virginia" -- it's so fucking true. I haven't seen a single female here that I would touch in anything resembling some form of intimacy unless I have been snowed in. For weeks. I would also require there be no power, no running water, no pornography magazines, and no pencil and paper to draw my own pornography. If those conditions are satisfied and I also get REALLY cold, then maybe...just maybe. At least the lights would be out.
It's that bad.
So earlier this evening, I took a drive down to Charles Town Races and Slots. I figured why waste time being bored when I can waste my time and money being bored. I walk into the casino, play slots for ten minutes, win $250, then leave, now bored again. What am I going to buy here with it anyway? Fat-back?? It's definitely a sad day when taking $250 of the state's money doesn't bring a smile to my face.
Stop inbreeding you fuckers.
-YDH
